Playing With The Belgian
by SingleSaltyTears
Summary: A quirky host called 'That Belgian Dude' got together a group of 12 contestants to compete for the ownership of paradise, but everything points towards something big going on behind the competition. Something big that could destroy the whole world.
1. Chapter 1 - The Green Room

**DISCLAIMER:** This is a story for fun! And instead of a focus on the competition, there's a focus on a bigger overarching plot behind it. All these characters and settings are original and I own them all.

 **DISCLAIMER THREE:** Drop a review to show who you're rooting for!

 **DISCLAIMER TWO:** wait these are out of order.

* * *

Here's Episode 1 of Playing With The Belgian, the fantasy/sci-fi adventure that takes Reality Out of Reality Television! All original characters on this one.

* * *

 **PLAYING WITH THE BELGIAN**

 **Episode 1 - The Green Room**

* * *

In a room dimly lit with a green light, an wooden clock chimes to reveal its midnight, while a wax candle brightly burns on a table. Someone picks the candle up, and brings it to their face, to reveal who they are.

Belgian - Hello, I am your host, That Belgian Dude.

He begins walking through a hallway, and as he does, the camera cuts to portraits.

Belgian - Heaven. The Golden Land. The Yogurt Aisle at the Supermarket. Humanity craves for paradise, and I'm here to give it.

The logo of the show lights up behind him.

Belgian - This is Playing With The Belgian. 12 contestants. Series of challenges. Losers send someone home. Standard stuff, you know the drill. And the prize?

He flicks a lever and the wall behind him falls, revealing a brightly glowing city of awesome. As he speaks, different buildings light up, as well as a huge sign with the slogan of the city.

Belgian - New New Belgium! 5-star restaurants, the best amusement parks, the best hotels, it's like Las Vegas, but for free, and not dirty!

He takes a pair of keys out from his pocket.

Belgian - And the winner takes the keys! The metaphorical keys! Not these ones. These are my garage keys.

He turns around and 'throws' the city away, revealing the green hallway again, with a chair for him to sit on.

Belgian - It's a competition that will rock the entire planet. Literally. Wink. So without further ado...

He turns on the TV, that shows two different scenes of a group of contestants in a forest. The first one is walking, the second is on a boat.

Belgian - let's begin PLAYING WITH THE BELGIAN!

He blows out the candlestick, turning the room completely dark besides the TV. He sighs, sorry about it.

 ***THEME SONG***

 **Once upon a Time there was that Belgian Dude**

 **He was snarky and sarcastic but was also kinda cool**

 **Out of a sudden then he realized he had money to spare**

 **So he made a competition, said 'COME JOIN ME IF YOU DARE'**

 **And then a thousand people just auditioned for the show**

 **And the Belgian picked the biggest oddballs you'll ever know**

 **So come forward all to see this thing so wacky, rad, compelling**

 **Because I don't know about you, but I'm Playing with the Belgian!**

We cut back to the TV, to the two groups. The left slide slides over, covering the whole screen.

The words 'BLUE TEAM' fly by in bright blue can see Brian, Dana, Flora, Francis, Gant and Robin walking, with Gant leading the way.

Dana - Hey, Gant, you sure we're going the right way?

Gant - Absolutely probably, Dana. For sure, maybe.

Dana - Thank you. That was really reassuring. *She nudges Francis* You sure it was a good idea giving him the map?

Francis - Ah, well, he volunteered, and I don't have the best sense of direction, for, you know, barely leaving home.

Dana - You lucky bastard.

Robin - Relax, guys, Gant's a Map Pro. And if we end up in a mess, we'll just beat it up until it lets us out.

Brian - ...Robin, violence isn't always the answer.

Robin - Of course, Brian, sometimes, it's the question!

Flora speaks up.

Flora - Guys, shouldn't you look where you're going? ...guys?

Cut to everyone, silence.

Brian - Did anyone her something?

Gant - The sound of how awesome I am?

Brian - More like a buzz...

Robin - Nahh, what drugs are you on, and can I have some?

Cut to Flora, again.

Flora - Haha, very funny, guys. It's me, Flora. I know you're making this joke of not noticing me, but you really should look where you're going.

Brian - There it is, again.

Dana - It's just a mosquito, disregard it.

Flora - Come on, guys, look where you're going!

Cut to Gavin, with the map.

Gavin - And we're here!

The camera zooms out, and everyone but Flora is standing on the air, past the edge of a cliff. Gavin looks down.

Gavin - Funny how physics stop working at times like these.

Everyone falls in the water below.

Flora - ...aw, whatever.

Flora jumps in too. The scene splits in two again, and goes to the right side, showing the other team.

The words 'RED TEAM' fly by in Red Colors. Allan, Beck, Nico, Patty. Rebecca and Wellington are on a boat in a river, Beck is leading the pack, rowing, Wellington's standing up.

Wellington - Oh, row and row and row your boat, going down the stream

Everyone but Beck and Rebecca begin to get visibly irritated.

Wellington - Row and row and row your boat, man this is a dream!

Allan - Won't someone stop this horrible noise?!

Wellington - Going to an awesome show, I feel I could scream!

Nico - Please don't.

Wellington - So I'll row and row and row my boat, row it with my team!

He finishes up with a pair of jazz hands, yeah. Patty pulls him down, so he sits.

Patty - Please keep your arms and feet inside the boat at all times, Wellington, thank you.

Wellington - Aw man, alright, Patty. You're all a bunch of Party Poopers.

Nico - Not in the mood for a party right now.

Patty - Plus, you didn't properly sign form A-3B to schedule the party. Please mail it to me one week in advance.

She hands Wellington a form, and his mood drops.

Allan - ...look, he stopped singing, but you all are still yapping! Can't you all just shut up?

Beck - Well, take your own darn' advice, Allan. So far you did nothing but complain'.

Allan - Well, Beck, for your information you all suck. And I'm of the opinion that facts should be stated. I mean, all of you suck except for Rebecca. I can't bring myself to hate her.

Rebecca is smiling like an angel.

Rebecca - Aw, thanks. That's... kinda sweet?

Patty - Yeah, Allan is a total jerk, but he's right on that one, at least. Rebecca's pretty great.

Rebecca - Thank you too, Patty!

Beck - Rebecca, seems like you're the glue that's gonna keep us from falling apart.

Wellington - And looking at those three-

Cut to show Allan, Nico and Patty all pissed off at each other.

Wellington - Rebecca, you better be a heck ton of scotch tape too.

Rebecca - I'll... try my best!

Flowers appear around him with that smile, Wellington has a dreamy look on his face.

Wellington - Yeah, haha *chuckles* you will - Uh, Beck, how's it going up there in the front?

Beck - Do... you want the good news or the bad news fahst?

Wellington - Gimme the bad news first.

Beck - The bad news is that there really ain't a good one.

Wellington - Waterfall?

The camera shows Beck leading the boat, from the front.

Beck - Waterfall.

They fall.

The camera shows the bottom of the waterfall, where there's a cracked boat. Both of the teams are climbing out of the water on the margin.

Gant - I knew we should have turned right at Albuquerque.

The contestants begin to dry themselves off. Belgian and Intellevision walks toward them.

Belgian - Welcome to...

Intellevision - Playing With The Belgian! *Pops a package of confetti*

Belgian - Anyway, let's get down to the nitty-gritty-ditty. The eleven of you have already been split into two teams.

Flora looks around, confused.

Flora - Shouldn't that be twelve?

Belgian continues

Belgian - The Red Team, the Waffle Wafers is made of Allan, Beck, Nico, Patty, Rebecca and Wellington.

Belgian - And the Blue Team, the Wafer Waffles is made of Brian, Dana, Francis, Gant and Robin.

Robin - 'EY! 'EY! 'EYYYY! How come we have one less member than the other team?

Flora - You... don't? I should be in your team.

Belgian - Well, we HAD a 12th contestant. She, however, decided not to show up, blame her.

Flora - I. AM. RIGHT. HERE. FOR. CHRIST'S. SAKE.

Brian - ...there's that buzz again.

Flora groans and throws her arms up, angry.

Robin - Whatever. Missing teammate or not, we'll still kick your butts, Red Team.

Allan - Bring it.

Robin - Oh, I'll bring the kicking. To your butt.

The camera shows the team's cabins in the distance, as well as the main lodge.

Belgian - Anyway-

Intellevision - *Interrupts him* This is Camp Wekeya, your new home. Each team will get a cabin and you will all eat in the cafeteria at the main lodge!

The camera pans and shows Melodia, who's in a maid costume.

Intellevision - And that's our main intern, Melodia. To be honest, I really don't know what she does here.

Belgian - You done stealing the spotlight?

Intellevision - No.

He slides over to the confessional area, to show it.

Intellevision - And you can confess your guts out here at any time! No one will know, except for everyone watching. And me. Because I'll eavesdrop.

Confessional - Gant - I am Gant. Last name awesome. Middle name really. Haha. That is all.

Confessional - Rebecca - This is so cool! I hope we can have a great summer here, haha, with absolutely NOTHING going wrong, haha, haha, hahahahahahahahahahahahahha.

Confessional - Flora - I'm getting really tired of everyone ignoring me, to be honest.

Melodia enters the confessional, and begins confessing over Flora

Melodia - Hey everyone, I'm Melodia! I've been put in charge of finding the missing 12th contestant. She's elusive - but I feel like she's definitely around here.

Flora looks at the screen, incredule.

Intellevision - There will be challenges. Losing team sends someone off. Do I really need to explain this? It's Reality-Show 101. The basics. You should already know it.

Belgian goes over a bunch of papers.

Belgian - And, well, there's no better way to learn than practice. Besides brainwashing, that is, but apparently, that's not legal.

The Belgian punches Intellevision's head, and its screen turns into a schematic of the challenge.

Belgian - Your first challenge is to get your three team boats to the top of the dreaded Syrup Falls.

Francis - Wait... does Syrup flow there instead of water?

Belgian - No, that's just the name of the waterfall.

Beck - So, heck, does water fall or Syrup fall?

Belgian - No, water falls from Syrup Falls!

Robin - Is Syrup Falls a place with many waterfalls?

Belgian - No, Syrup Falls is a single waterfall from which water falls.

Brian - Does Niagara Falls?

Beck - She might.

Belgian - Never mind! First team to get the three boats past the finish line wins immunity, the losing team will lose a member. Go!

Everyone begins to run, even Flora, despite her not being in any team.

Nico - Great. Running.

Robin - Great! Running!

The teams arrive at their boats, tied to the margin. Brian is a bit tired out and the blue team is waiting for him to catch up. We zoom in the red team.

Patty - Let's split up into three pairs! Each pair carries a boat!

Rebecca - I'll go with Beck! If she doesn't mind.

Beck - Don't mind at all, c'mere!

They hop into a boat and already begin rowing. Wellington's a bit sad he didn't call out for Rebecca first.

Wellington - Darn it. Patty, want to go?

Patty - Sure, but just don't sing.

Wellington - Can't promise you that.

They hop into a boat as well, leaving Nico and Allan behind.

Nico - Seriously? Seriously? Leave me with the misanthrope, of course.

Allan - I hate you.

Nico - Yeah tell me something new.

They leave just as Brian arrives back on his team. Flora gets there too, but no one notices her.

Brian - Sorry, guys...

Gant - Never mind that, dibs on the blue boat!

Dana - They're all blue.

Francis - Anyways, should we split up too?

Brian - Leave it to me!

Brian's eyes glimmer and, from seemingly thin air, he takes a wheel showing the faces of every contestant on the blue team. That means, no Flora.

Flora - So I'm really not on the team, huh.

Dana - ...when did you make that? Also... is it a good idea to leave something like that to luck?

Brian - ...is there any other way?

Brian spins the wheel and lands on Gant, who pulls him into a boat.

Gant - Fate has tied us together, and now, you're my wingman. Chop, chop, let's row towards the tomorrow!

Brian - Ah, I guess, woohoo...

Gant - Weakest woohoo ever.

They leave, and Dana spins the wheel.

Dana - Bet he regrets that now, heh.

The wheel lands on her own slice.

Dana - Guess I'm going alone. Score.

She hops into a boat and begins rowing, leaving Flora, Francis and Robin behind.

Francis - So... that means...

Robin - Yes, Francis, you're my rowing buddy! Let's take the gold medal!

Francis - Alright! Let's do this!

Robin pulls Francis into the boat, and he trips and falls on top of her.

Robin - Oooh, being forward, are you? I like it.

Francis - Ah, ah, I'm sorry!

Francis, embarassed, gets up and begins rowing. Flora is left behind and is just downright perplexed.

Confessional - Francis - *Scratching his chin* Uhhhh, Robin's pretty cool? Yeah... but too much of a daredevil for me, heh.

The Red Team is overall on the lead, but Allan and Nico are not being able together and quickly falling behind. Beck/Rebecca and Patty/Wellington reach the base of the waterfall. They begin climbing.

Beck - Now that was the easy part.

Patty - I'm NOT okay with this. We're breaking the laws of physics, and they're laws like ANY OTHER LAWS.

Wellington - All you gotta do is get a rhythm.

Their boats turn 90 degrees and begin climbing up the waterfall.

Patty - Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

Wellington - Stroke, stroke, stroke your boat

Patty - Stop it.

Francis/Robin and Brian/Gant overtake Allan/Nico and begin rowing up the waterfall.

Allan - Nico, I know you have those noodles for arms, but row faster, dammit!

Nico - Row in rhythm, you idiot! We're not getting anywhere!

Dana passes them as well.

Dana - Nice teamwork.

Alex - *Incoherent screaming*

We cut to the side of the waterfall, where Rebecca/Beck and Patty/Wellington are keeping a good rhythm.

Rebecca - We have something good going here!

Patty - Not good enough! They're catching up!

Beck - Say what?! That's impossible! I can't lose!

Francis/Robin and Brian/Gant are indeed catching up. Robin's using both paddles, while Francis does nothing.

Robin - This is EASY!

Francis - Yeah, kinda...

Gant - I do this everyday in my money pool! Haha! That means I'm rich! Double haha!

Patty - And where the heck are Allan and Nico after all?

Back at the bottom, they are finally beginning to climb up the waterfall, a bit behind Dana. Allan and Nico are getting angrier and angrier with each other.

Confessional - Allan - If we lose, Nico is TOAST. And the burned kind!

He pauses a bit.

Allan - I just hate toast. A lot.

Gant/Brian and Francis/Robin pass the red team duos.

Patty - Wellington, you're falling out of rhythm!

Wellington - What? But I'm a musician! That's exactly what I CAN'T do!

Rebecca - Gosh darn' it, how could they have passed us!

Wellington - ...even her swears are cute.

Robin overhears them and turns around.

Robin - You want to know HOW we overtook you?

She makes a mocking face, but ends up letting go of the paddles.

Robin - Because we rule, duh!

Francis - Oh, Robin, wait!

The paddles fall down a long the way and hit Allan. Dana chuckles silently.

Allan - CURSE YOU GRAVITY!

Confessional - Dana - Okay, the pain of others MAY make me happy. Is there any problem with that?

Francis/Robin begin falling down back the waterfall, now that they don't have any paddles.

Back at ground level, Flora is walking along the side of the river.

Flora - How am I even going to get up there, now?

She finds an elevator on the base of the waterfall.

Flora - Oh.

At the top of the waterfall, Beck/Rebecca and Brian/Gant reach the top at roughly the same time, and see the finish line just a bit ahead. Brain is panting hard, tired.

Brian - Just a little more!

Beck - Not so fast!

Beck/Rebecca pass them at the last second.

Beck - YES! WE WON! SUCK ON THAT, YOU LOSERS!

Rebecca - Hooray! Victory hug!

Gant - Can I get a victory hug too?

They climb back onto the ground, leaving the boats.

Confessional - Brian - Beck turned scary for a minute there, which is weird, since it didn't matter what order we arrived in, what matters is the time the last boat arrives. Huh.

Wellington/Patty also make it to the top of the waterfall.

Patty - We made it!

Gavin - Not on my watch!

Gavin presses his watch and it launches a rock that falls just in front of Wellington and Patty's boat.

Wellington - Hah, missed!

Their boat is, however, moving slightly backwards.

Patty - Uh, Wellington. Bad news.

Wellington - Oh, no... twice in a day? Let me guess... waterfall?

Patty - No, we're falling.

They are thrown backwards out of the waterfall. Lower on the waterfall, Dana is slowly going up, while Allan and Nico are moving up erratically. Patty and Wellington fall past them.

Dana - Hello.

Dana - Goodbye.

Patty and Wellington then quickly pass them both.

Wellington - Hello.

Patty - Goodbye!

At the top of the waterfall, Francis and Robin appear, with Robin using Francis as a paddle.

Robin - Now that's what I call MANPOWER!

Francis - ...yup...

They cross the finish line, and, shortly after, Patty and Wellington make it to the top again, crossing the finish line as well. An elevator arrives at the top of the waterfall and Flora exits, sitting on the bench where everyone is waiting.

Flora - Hello.

No answer. Flora sighs.

Belgian - One boat left for each team! Who will win?!

Dana crosses the finish line.

Belgian - Dana does! So Blue Team wins. Thanks for making it completely anti-climatic.

Dana - You're welcome.

Allan/Nico finally make it, yapping at each other.

Belgian - So, Red Team, one of you is going home.

Rebecca - Aw...

Allan - It's all your fault, Nico! Couldn't even get a freaking rhythm. Tell me, how does it feel to suck at life?

Nico - I don't know, you tell me.

Rebecca, Beck, Patty and Wellington all look at them, angry.

Confessional - Allan - So I didn't do great at the challenge. Big deal. I may hate everyone but I still want to win so I can hog paradise for myself. So I told some lies. Beck wouldn't budge unless I repayed her later. I hate her.

Confessional - Beck - Allan asked me to keep him in the game. He owes me now. What? Think I'm not smart just because I'm a country girl?

Confessional - Patty - Allan told me Nico was going to cheat on the challenge. Time to punish a delinquent.

Confessional - Rebecca - Allan said Nico doesn't like me! How is that, uh, even possible! I... I mean-

Confessional - Wellington - Nico said WHAT about Weird 'Al' Yankovic? That monster.

We cut to a set of bleachers, where the Red Team is all sitting, in a bad mood.

Belgian - Red Team, you lost. One of you is going home, and by home, I mean the loser shack.

Allan - It's all Nico's fault.

Nico - Yeah, you weren't the one that had to share a boat with Mr McShouts-A-Lot.

Beck - For cod's sake, both of you are just a stick a mud.

Patty - YEAH, let the man continue!

Belgian - Anyway, here's the deal. The deal is simple. In the deal you go to the voting booth and cast a vote. The person with the most votes is eliminated. Deal?

Rebecca - Aw, I don't want to be eliminated!

Wellington - 'Ey, relax, I'm not voting you out, at least.

Patty - We'd be dumb to vote you out, you're the best, Rebecca!

Beck - Dern' Tootin!

Rebecca - Awwwwww, thank you guys!

Zoom in on Rebecca, the screen becomes red, and she gets a demonic face and voice for a while. No one notices.

Rebecca - LOVE ME!

Belgian - Time to vote.

Voting Booth - Allan - Nothing personal, but I hate your guts.

Voting Booth - Nico - You're buying me a new set of eardrums, jerk.

Everyone is shown back at the bleachers.

Belgian - The votes are tallied. Rebecca, Wellington, Patty and Beck, you are all safe. You get a Waffle.

The four catch the waffle and Wellington takes a bit bite out of it. His eyes shine.

Wellington - ...I've seen heaven...

The screen splits in half, showing Allan and Nico.

Belgian - Now it's between you two. One of you is out of the game. And the person leaving is... Nico!

Allan catches his waffle. Nico is surprised.

Allan - Knew it. By the way. I hate waffles. Keep it in mind for next time.

Wellington takes the chance to steal Allan's waffle.

Nico - What?! Really?! You're keeping the misanthrope over me? Fine, I don't care. Let's get on with this.

Nico's seat throws him into an elevator, which then goes down into the ground.

Patty - Where is he going?

Belgian - Loser shack is that-a-way. Anyway, the rest of you are safe for now.

The Belgian turns towards the camera.

Belgian - One down, 10 to go! Will the red team pick up the pace? Will Melodia ever find that elusive 12th contestant? Who knows. Don't miss whatever happens next time in Playing With The Belgian!

The screen fades out. Everyone leaves.

* * *

We cut to the Green Room. A door opens, and some light shines inside it. The Belgian approaches the TV and pushes it aside.

Belgian - Soon.

He cleans a spot on the wall to reveal a knob, He turns the knobs.

Belgian - Soon.

A metal door opens, and there's a huge bomb inside it. The clock counts down from 11 to 10. There's a close in on Belgian's face.

Belgian - Soon.

* * *

 ***END OF EPISODE 1***


	2. Chapter 2 - Seeing Double

**DISCLAIMER:** This is a story for fun! And instead of a focus on the competition, there's a focus on a bigger overarching plot behind it. All these characters and settings are original and I own them all. Start making your theories!

 **DISCLAIMER THREE:** Drop a review to show who you're rooting for!

 **DISCLAIMER TWO:** wait these are out of order.

* * *

 **PLAYING WITH THE BELGIAN**

 **Episode 2 - Seeing Double**

* * *

Belgian is standing on the middle of the campgrounds.

Belgian: Last time on Playing With The Belgian, a competition that would rock the whole world started!

Belgian: Seriously, it's going to shake the entire Earth up.

Belgian: Is the imagery not getting to your head? Am I being too subtle? Gosh.

He throws his arms up in disgust

Belgian: Anyway, our 11 contestants were split into two teams. We had a 12th contestant but she bailed on us.

Flora appears on the background.

Flora: No, I didn't.

Belgian: Totally vanished. Gone. Dunno where she is. Melodia, our assistant, or something, is trying to find her.

Melodia appears on the background with a metal detector.

Melodia: No signal, damn.

Flora: ...

Belgian: The teams faced off in the first challenge, taking their color-coded-kinda-crazy boats up the famous Syrup Falls, which is a waterfall from which water falls, not Syrup.

Belgian: The Red Team lost when Allan and Nico failed to coexist, and courtesy of some lies by Allan, Nico was basically unanimously voted out.

Belgian: 10 remain. Who will be voted out next? I mean I don't know too why would I know I'm recording this before the episode starts you dummy.

* * *

 ***THEME SONG***

 **Once upon a Time there was that Belgian Dude**

 **He was snarky and sarcastic but was also kinda cool**

 **Out of a sudden then he realized he had money to spare, so**

 **he made a competition, said 'COME JOIN ME IF YOU DARE'**

 **And then a thousand people just auditioned for the show**

 **And the Belgian picked the biggest oddballs you'll ever know**

 **So, people all around the world, Canadian, English or Arabian**

 **Well I don't know about you, but I'm Playing with the Belgian!**

* * *

The camera flies around the top of a diving board. Francis climbs up, and, tired, falls face-first into the diving board. Martha climbs up after him.

Robin: End of the line! Only one way down.

Francis: The ladder?

Robin: 'ey, don't come and sass me! One 'COOL' way down, you dummy!

Robin: Look, I expected something, -uh, more 'indoors' when you talked about doing something fun. Are you sure this is safe?

Robin: *She cups his face* Look. Francis. It's a tough world out there. It's you and me against everyone else. We can't back down now, or we're DEAD, you hear me? DEAD.

Francis: Alright. *He swallows his fear* Let's do this.

* * *

Confessional - Robin - Francis is cool. I always wanted a daredevil buddy, but my other friends always got scared off for some reason.

* * *

Confessional - Francis - I think Martha's trying to kill me. Not sure yet. Still need more evidence.

* * *

We see the poolside, where Beck is resting on the water, and Rebecca is sitting on the pool bar.

Rebecca: Oh, man, I'm just so glad I stayed!

Beck: No one was even thinking of voting you off, hun, Nico was just a troublemaker, plus, you're really nice! His time was due.

Rebecca: I'm glad.

Her smile flashes a ray of light, which blinds Beck for a second.

Rebecca: Would Allan be the next one to go? He's pretty mean too.

Beck: Well, Allan would be good to take to the end, cus he'd be easy to beat.

* * *

Confessional - Beck - Plus, he owes me a favor. And I'll be sure to hold it against 'im.

* * *

Rebecca: Oh, sure, if you say so!

She flashes an even bigger smile, which emits a ray of light and makes Beck topple backwards in the water. Rebecca avoids the water splash.

Beck: Begeebers, what a shining smile. That should be illegal.. Ah, I've been meaning to ask 'ya, why ain't you joinin' me at the pool?

Rebecca looks grossed out for a second.

Rebecca: I, just don't like water very much, I guess.

The camera pans to the side, to show Gant, who's behind the bar counter, with the drinks, and Brian, who's completely disinterested in the whole thing.

Gant: Don't like water, huh? So can I offer you a Martini? Or maybe my specialty - the cherry popper. Double entendre, haha!

Rebecca: Ah, I'm sorry, I don't drink, I'm only 16?

Gant: 16? Oooh boy, forget what I said, call me in two years, here's my number.

Brian: Wait, didn't the sign-ups for the show say we had to be 18 or older?

Rebecca: Ah, yes... I guess they made an exception?

Brian looks doubtful for a second, and spins a wheel that contains 'care' and 'don't care'. The wheel lands on don't care.

Brian: The gods have spoken.

He jots down the result in a small notepad, and tucks it away on his pocket.

Rebecca's sweating bullets, worried. Gant notices it, and ponders to himself.

* * *

Confessional - Gant - *He's holding his chin and looking up* Everyone knows everything everyone says always matter in the long run. So Rebecca is hiding something. Something is definitely up and I'm not talking about my p-

* * *

The camera cuts back to the bar, showing Gant in the exact same position as the confessional.

Gant: In this position, it looks like I'm thinking!

Brian: ...nope.

Gant finishes his drink and pours it in a cup. We can hear Francis yelling, and Gant places the cup down, smacking his lips, proud of his work, like an italian chef.

Francis falls inside the cup.

Gant: Hey, at least ask if I'm gonna finish that!

Indignated, he throws his arms forward. Robin falls on his arms.

Robin: Hello, how's your day going?

Gant: Oh, why hello, foxy lady. *He stops for a second* Wait, I have to make sure no one called dibs on you! Would I be a bro if I didn't do that?

Robin: ...No?

Gant: Damn right, I wouldn't!

Gant throws Robin backwards, and she flies over Rebecca and Beck, landing face-first on the pool, where she makes a 'rocking out' sign, before beginning to sink. Rebecca hisses like a cat and jumps to the top of the bar to avoid the splashing water.

Beck: ...say what?

We cut to Patty, who's on a life guard chair. Allan and Dana are on the pool chair, Allan's using a reflector to sunbathe, in sunglasses. Flora is hiding on the pool.

Wellington: *Running towards Allan* Allan, Allan!

Allan looks towards him, irked. Patty calls Wellington out.

Patty: Don't run in the pool, Wellington!

Wellington: I am outside the pool, Patty.

Patty: Don't run in the pool... side?

Wellington: *Jumps into the pool and begins swimming* I'm inside the pool, Patty.

Patty: Don't... run?

Wellington: *In between gasps for air* Swi...mmi...ng!

Patty screams, incoherently, and ends up toppling the LifeGuard Chair, falling. Wellington arrives at the edge of the pool.

Wellington: Anyway, Allan, I'm sure glad Nico is gone! Now, what's your favourite Weird Al Song, since that's why we booted Nico over?

Allan: Uh, you know... too many good ones, can't choose.

Wellington: Come on, you must have a favourite.

Allan: ...ah, sure, that one, where he does that... thing.

Wellington: In the boat? Oh man, that's a good one! You have good taste!

Allan: Yup. The boat. That's the one.

* * *

Confessional - Allan - Whatever song that is, I hate it.

* * *

Confessional - Dana - *Monotone* Hanging out with Allan is the best. He must be the saddest, grumpiest human being on earth, and I'm loving every second of it.

* * *

Wellington: What about that one, in the building, that one's so good!

Dana: Why are you happy, Wellington? Your team lost the numbers advantage.

Flora pipes up from the pool.

Flora: Yeah, we have it, now.

Patty: I know, and it's all tied up. But still - we are a much more cohesive unit now and we'll beat you this time for sure. Nico was just a no-good cheater.

Allan: ...yup... a cheater...

* * *

Confessional - Allan - Okay, maybe I shouldn't have told all these lies... I hate how good of an actor I am!

* * *

Confessional - Flora - Why does everyone keep ignoring me? It's like I don't even exist!

Her eyes widen, she holds her knees close to her and begins freaking out.

Flora - Oh my god.

* * *

Cut to the challenge grounds. Belgian, Intellevision and Melodia are all there.

Melodia is wearing a maid costume, which makes Gant let out a wolf whistle, a cat call and a 'Hello Nurse!'. She's red-headed, long flowing hair (even if leaning towards orange), and is fairly short overall, looking taller because of high heels.

Belgian: Anyway, with Nico gone, the 10 of you will face the next challenge!

Flora: *Sighs* Eleven of us.

There's a flash of light off-screen.

Belgian: Oh, wait, sorry, I mean the eleven of you.

Flora: Wait... wait, are you actually counting me for real? Finally?!

Patty: Um, Belgian, I'm pretty sure there are only ten of us.

Belgian: Are you saying I miscounted?

Dana: You really have to work on your math if the number 10 is giving you trouble. We started with 11, we lose one, we're at 10.

Flora: Guys, the jig is up, he is counting me now, you can stop.

Francis: I'm pretty sure it's eleven too.

He points to the side and the screen pans, showing another Francis. This one has a red tail.

Robin: Ooooh, two boy toys now!

Rebecca: Am I not the only one seeing double, right?

The Francis with the red tail holds normal Francis by the shoulder.

Red!Francis: Francis, I am YOU FROM THE FUTURE! ... YES, I always wanted to say that!

Francis: And I always wanted to hear that!

Robin: And I always wanted to be a bystander when something like that happened!

Dana: Now that's a development.

Belgian: Yup, wasn't expecting that. But no biggie, new Francis, you're also in the Blue Team, or I guess you never left.

Patty: Hey, that's unfair! How come they get a member so easily like that?

Flora: Are you crying because it's seven to five now?

Belgian: Oh, come on, they started out in a numbers disadvantage, plus, it's not like it's seven to five now.

Flora shrieks and storms off, angry.

Brian: Seriously, is no one hearing this buzzing?

* * *

Confessional - Dana - oh, ooh, I can't see, but there's someone that seems to be suffering even more than Allan right now.

She breaks her monotone speech for the first time.

Dana - Amazing.

* * *

Belgian: So, with that out of the way-

Intellevision: *Pushes Belgian* -Let's get to today's challenge! You'll all get a car, and, on my go, race through the forest, into and out of the mines, past the waterfall and towards the finish line. First person to cross it wins for their team.

Beck: Oooh, another race? You can bet I'm grabbing first on it too!

Melodia pushes a huge machine onto the stage.

Intellevision: You can ask the Dream Machine to make you your Dream Car.

Melodia: And, surprise, I'll be participating!

Belgian: Yup, and if Melodia wins, she'll join the game, and BOTH teams will be voting someone off.

Gant: What a twist!

Robin: That is balderdash!

Wellington: And it's also pretty stupid too!

Belgian: Well, dem's the breaks if you brake too much and don't win the race. Go make your car. I'll call you in a jiffy.

Cut to Rebecca and Beck.

Beck: What's going to be your car, hun?

Rebecca: Something with a lot of bells and whistles!

Beck: Useless junk that doesn't do anything?

Rebecca: Best kind of useless junk!

They share a good-hearted laugh. We cut to Brian, who's heading towards the Dream Machine to get his car. As he arrives, Flora is finishing her 'order'.

Dream Machine: Order Acknowledged, making the car.

Brian: ...what? But there is no one there?

Flora just sighs and walks past him, giving up on everything.

Brian: Wait, there's that buzzing again. What the-?

Flora: ...buzzing? Wait, he did say something like that earlier too, right?

She walks towards Brian and stands really close to him. He grabs his head and falls down, in genuine pain.

Brian: ..what the heck is this buzzing? Ahh, my head!

Rebecca: ...Brian, you okay?

Brian: No, I'm not okay.

Flora just skips away, happily. Brian regains his composure as she's a bit out of range.

Brian: ...wait, I... I am?

Rebecca: Aw, glad to hear!

* * *

Confessional - Flora - At this point, any sort of impact I make on someone is a positive! I'll take it!

* * *

Confessional - Brian - Just what the heck was that? I have never felt something like it before...

* * *

Red!Francis: Fellow Francis, we need to team up for the challenge!

Francis: Oh, why, fellow Francis?

Red!Francis: Because future you asked me and we did!

Francis: That's making my head hurt!

Red!Francis: Yeah, I remember that!

Both: HOHOHOHOHO.

Dana: They're having WAYYY too much fun with that.

Belgian: Okay, if the Francis need to pair up so we avoid a paradox, let's have two people from the Red Team pair up.

Patty: I'll go with Allan!

Allan: WHAT?

Belgian: Patty and Allan it is!

* * *

Confessional - Patty - Allan is no role model, but he told me that Nico was going to cheat, so he's clearly worried about morals. I want to make a pact so we can take care of any troublemakers around here. DELINQUENTS SHOULD PAY.

* * *

Confessional - Allan - I REALLY shouldn't have told all those lies.

* * *

The cars are shown one by one, like a Wacky Races cartoon.

Intellevision: And now here they are! The most daredevil group of tacky drivers to ever spin their wheels in the WAFFLE WAFERS, competing for the title of World's Waffliest Wafers!

We show Gant's car, which is actually a unicycle, and he cheers. Wellington is driving an accordion train.

Intellevision: The cars are approaching the starting line. First the Accelerating Awesome driven by Gant the Great. Next is the Wild Wild Wellington in the Sonata Express!

Wellington: Yee-haw, I'm even providing the race soundtrack!

Next, we show Patty and Allan in a two-story tank with 'DISCIPLINE' written on it. Dana is literally on a cardboard car.

Intellevision: Maneuvering for position is Patty and Allan in the Problem Patrol. Right behind is Dana Dastardly in her Cardboard Car.

Dana: I hate this game.

Allan: That's my line.

Brian is in a 'wheel-of-fortune' car with a dome on top, and Rebecca is on a pink car with a parasol.

Intellevision: Then there's ingenious inventor Brainiac Brian in his Wheel of Fate. Oh, here's the lovely Rebecca Roadrush, the glamour gas of the gas pedal!

Rebecca: Oh, my!

Francis & Red!Francis are on a school bus, and Melodia is on a 'maid cafe' table-shaped car.

Intellevision: Next we have the Homeschool Bus with the Francis duo, Francis & Francis. Coming along is the Cosplay Cafe with Melodia the Maid.

Melodia: ..what? Everyone has their hobbies. Shut up!

And finally, Robin is on a hamster wheel, Flora is on a car in the shape of a Teru Teru Bozu (japanese doll to ward off the rain), and Beck is on a bit of a rusty car, chilling on it. There's a pig besides her.

Intellevision: And right on its tail is the Robinsphere. Then a... Ghost car with no one driving it? And finally the Banjo Beetle-Bug with Beck and Bertha coming up the rear.

Flora: Oh, come on, I'M the one driving the Teru Teru Bozu Car!

Intellevision: No one driving the Ghost car at all! Spooky!

Robin notices Bertha, the pig on Beck's car, as they're revving up for the race.

Robin: Hey, Beck, where is that pig from?

Beck: She's my ol' pig, Bertha! Dunno how she got here.

Bertha: I HAVE MASTERED THE ARTS OF DARK MAGIC TO FIND MY OWNER.

Beck: Oh, she's somethin' alright!

The Belgian waves a flag.

Belgian: And away they go!

The cars zoom by, leaving Robin and Dana in the dust!

Robin: Haha, slow start, but I'm going to win! Victory will sure be mine! No pain, no gain! Feel the burn!

Even Dana, on her car without a motor, passes her.

Melodia approaches Brian

Melodia: So, your car is a wheel again, because...?

Brian: Hey, luck is my gimmick, alright? Don't question it. And why is yours a maid cafe?

Melodia puts away her cat cosplay ears, pouting.

Melodia: Don't question it...

Brian's taken aback for a second.

* * *

Confessional - Brian - ...alright, I'll admit, that was pretty cute.

* * *

That cute moment is stopped when Brian slows down and both Melodia and Flora's Ghost Car catch up to him, causing him to hear a lot of buzzing.

Brian: ARGHHHH.

Flora: ...what...

The camera shows Beck and Bertha, making steady progress and passing everyone.

Beck: Alright, first place! We're winning this, no matter what it takes.

Bertha: OINK

Beck: But how in tarnation did you get 'ere in the first place, Bertha?

Bertha: I ALREADY TOLD YOU, DARK MAGIC.

Beck: And why did you come 'ere.

Bertha: I CAME HERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND MAKE SURE NOTHING GOES WRONG.

Beck: Awww, that makes me as happy as a dog who just got 'is bone!

Rebecca catches up to them.

Rebecca: Cute pig, Beck!

Beck: Thanks, 'Becca!

Bertha: I SENSE A DISTURBANCE IN THIS ONE.

Beck: What the 'eck does that mean?

Rebecca: *Worried* Uh... sorry, gotta jet!

Beck: Darn it, ain't first anymore.

Rebecca rockets ahead, Patty and Allan are getting close.

Patty: Sorry, Beck, but make way!

Allan: YES, I HATE EVERY POSITION BUT FIRST PLACE!

Beck: No can do, I'd like to win this anyway!

Patty: But it doesn't matter as long as one of us gets there first, and we have heavy artillery, so its best we stay ahead!

Beck: Shut 'yer yappin', I'm still takin' the gold!

Patty: Stop being a hindrance to the team and LET US THROUGH.

Allan: YEAH, BECK, I HATE YOU.

Patty and Allan begin to catch up to her.

Beck: Yikes, fiddlesticks! Bertha, da' something.

Bertha: YES, MASTER. OH, DEMONS OF THE PITS OF HELL, NIGHT TERRORS THAT RESIDE WITHIN, GRANT ME THE POWER TO CAUSE CHAOS, AND PLUNGE ALL INTO A LIFE OF SIN.

She picks up a rock and throws at Patty and Allan. Patty's 'upper half' of the tank jumps, and the rock goes between the two halves.

Patty: Beck, we're teammates, why are you attacking us?!

Beck: I wanna get first, gosh darn it!

Allan: Well we'll see about that!

Allan pushes a button that fires a book that knocks Beck out of comission.

Allan: Behold the power of knowledge!

Melodia catches up to them, and gets ready to push one of the plates on her car.

Melodia: Let's see if this works as planned!

She pushes the plate, and a present is launched. It hits Patty, and there's a poof of dust.

Patty: AHHHHH ...wait, ...I don't think anything happened?

Patty realizes she's in a magical girl costume.

Allan: Is that it? You're going to need to do better than th-

Patty: THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! I'M NOT FOLLOWING THE PROPER DRESS CODE! WHERE ARE MY BACK-UP CLOTHES?! IN THE CABINS!? WHAT!

Patty begins freaking out and begins driving backwards.

Allan: ...Patty, NO!

Wellington passes everyone, just humming.

Wellington: (Singing) Hit the pedal to the metal it's a battle yeah!

Melodia presses a plate and turns Wellington into a japanese idol.

Wellington: (Singing) Kinzoku ni pedaru o utsu soreha tatakaidesu!

Melodia: ...that's actually impressive.

Flora silently claps on the background.

The camera shows the Cave Entrance, signaling the end of the first leg of the race. Belgian and Gant talk in a voice-over.

Belgian: Coming in first into the cave is Rebecca, with Wellington and Brian right on her tail, and Gant following.

Gant: I'd like to be on her tai- wait, no, she's not of legal age, no, bad Gant.

Belgian: A couple more people enter the cave.

We show Rebecca in the cave.

Rebecca: Coming in first!

Gant: Stop that. You're doing it on purpose.

Brian: Alright, let's roll for a new vehicle.

Brian pushes a switch on his wheel car. The wheel comes to a halt and the slice saying 'WOAH, MINECART', and his car changes into a minecart, locking into the rails.

Brian: Lucky break!

Brian jots down the results of the roll into his notepad. Flora notices that, from afar.

Flora: ...hm?

Wellington manages to lock into the rail tracks as well, since his car is a train. They both manage to pass Rebecca and follow the tracks into a side path.

Melodia: Hm, guys?

Melodia points to a sign in front of the side path that says 'MINECART MAZE THIS WAY'. We instantly show Rebecca, Wellington and Brian as they're going through a minecart maze room. There are a lot of entrances and exits and they both come and go from different ones.

Rebecca: Oh, my!

The camera cuts to a map of the place, and the Belgian voice-overs again.

Belgian: With Brian, Rebecca and Wellington in the minecart maze, Melodia takes the lead in the Cosplay Cafe. Right after it is the Empty Ghost Car, followed by the Homeschool Bus, Dana and Gant, and bringing up the rear are Martha, Patty, Beck and Allan.

They're going through a passageway that splits in two. A warning sign shows that the right path means trouble, so Melodia and Flora take the left.

Francis: Alright, so we're going left, right?

Red!Francis: No, we're going right, that's what's left.

Francis: But why?

Red!Francis: Because future me told me we have to go right.

Francis: Man, that is a big cycle of stupidity.

They take the detour and head from the mines into an abandoned factory setting.

Francis: This track is sort of spooky... also is it just me or are we upside down?

The camera zooms out and they are on a loop. A huge pole on the middle is gathering energy, fast.

Red!Francis: Okay. Deep breaths. I remember this. *He begins hyperventilating* OK JUST CAN'T.

Red!Francis jumps out of the bus, through the window.

Francis: Hey, wait, what are you-

Too late. The bus is struck with lightning from the pole. Inside the bus, the remaining Francis splits into two, one with a red tail and one with a green tail.

Green!Francis: Wh-

They both vanish. The lightning stops and the bus comes to a halt at the bottom of the loop. Red!Francis picks himself up from the ground and looks inside the bus.

Red!Francis: Me?

The bus is empty.

We cut to outside the cave. Melodia's still in the lead, with Flora after her. Then, everyone else comes out in a jumbled order, then Rebecca, and finally Francis.

Belgian: Breaking news, the Homeschool Bus only has one Homeschooled Francis on it now!

Robin: Wait, did I lose one of my toys?

Red!Francis: Please don't refer to me as that.

Rebecca: Oh, no, I'm almost in last place! I need to do something!

She drives into a tree that somehow launches her into first place.

Rebecca: Hooray!

Everyone from Team Red cheers, but Beck manages to shake it off.

Beck: ...wait, why am I cheering for Rebecca? I want to win!

Beck forcefully drives into Gant, who loses balance from his unicycle and ends up on the front of Beck's car, looking towards her chest. He makes a 'camera sign'.

Beck: Would you get out?!

Gant: Why should I? The view here is pretty nice! Haha!

Bertha: MORTALS LIKE YOU SHOULD GET AWAY FROM MY MASTER!

Bertha throws Gavin ahead using dark magic, over the edge of the cliff. Everyone else follows, making the jump and getting some rad airtime. Everyone, except for Dana.

Dana: No way.

She stops and turns around, back towards the start.

Gant lands awkwardly on the start of the final stretch. Then everyone falls in front of him. We cut to a side wide shot, where everyone is changing positions all the time, except for Rebecca being first and Melodia being last.

Melodia: Kcht, I'm way too behind! Time for another costume attack!

She presses her plate three times, and presents are thrown into people. Robin, Gant and Patty are hit in rapid succession.

Robin: *Turns into a fighting chick* What?

Red!Francis: I... I approve.

Gant: Me too! *He's hit, turns into a wizard* NOOO, MY SUIT!

Patty: *She's hit again, and turns into a magic girl (again)* Oh, for crying out loud!

They're all almost at the finish line, and though Melodia was making up ground, she still couldn't overtake Rebecca.

Beck: We gotta do something, Bertha! Rebecca's winning, and that means our team wins, but I gotta take first! I GOTTA, there's no other way!

Bertha: *Sighs* YES, LORD AND SUPREME MASTER. YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.

Bertha uses her dark magic and a wall appears in front of everyone. Everyone besides Beck and Francis crash on the pile. As Beck passes them, Patty reprimands her

Patty: Beck? Just why did you do that! We were gonna win!

Beck: See ya, sugarcube, but the joy of first place is mine! And Francis has no way of catching up!

Beck is hit by a plank and flies out of her cart. Bertha crashes in a rock and is put out of comission for good.

Beck: What in tarnation?

Francis crosses the finish line

Francis: I won! Somehow!

Belgian: Somehow indeed, Francis wins for the Blue Team! That means Melodia didn't win, and she doesn't join the game.

Melodia: Aw, come on.

Belgian: Red Team, it's back to the elimination with you. I'll sort out this multiple Francis thing in the meantime.

Patty is looking angry at Beck.

Patty: Thanks a lot, Beck!

Beck: No seriously, I have no clue, what the heck just happened?

Besides Belgian is a green Francis, carrying a plank.

Green!Francis: Hi.

Dana: Alright, how many Francis are hidden around here?

Flora looks at Brian, who tiredly goes back to his cabin.

* * *

We cut to the voting area.

Belgian: Another loss, Red Team. Twice in a row. Not looking good for you. Time to vote. Go. Quickly. Now. Chop-Chop. Tallyho! Get moving! Voting's that-a-way. Now! Ready, Set, Go! K, I'm done.

* * *

Confessional - Beck - Yes, the competition did get to my head, but Allan owes me a flavor, so all we need to do is take out Wellington.

* * *

Belgian: Four to one, Beck, time to go.

Beck: WHAT? But, Allan, you OWED ME!

Allan: And now you're out of the game, so I sorta don't. See 'ya.

Beck: This is not going to end like this. I CAN'T LOSE. I CAN'T. YOU'LL ALL PAY!

Bertha: PAY, YOU MORTALS, WITH YOUR SOUL!

Beck and Bertha are thrown into the elevator.

Belgian: Now that wasn't a surprise. Beck is gone and she won't be Back. Now who will be becked into a corner next. Will the Red Team grow a Beckbone? Find out next time when we're Beck with more Playing With The Belgian.

* * *

We cut to inside the elevator. Beck is sitting on the elevator. Bertha is as well. They're moping.

Beck: ...you know what, it's okay. It's okay. We can make do with this.

Bertha: MAKE DO WITH WHAT?

Beck: We can still do this. We can still win this. Yes, we can still win this.

Bertha: BECK ARE YOU OKAY?

Beck: I am NOT okay! I lost! I LOST! I didn't win! HOW CAN I BE OKAY?!

Bertha: ...DON'T WORRY, BECK, EVERYTHING IS FINE.

Beck: What? No, it isn'-

Bertha: EVERYTHING IS FINE.

The door opens revealing a lounge, Nico is wasted on the chair watching a stupid movie. He looks up towards Beck.

Nico: Welcome to my heaven.

Bertha: YES. EVERYTHING IS FINE.

* * *

We cut to inside the Blue Team's Cabin. The camera shows Brian finishing writing on his book and leaving to go to the bathroom.

Flora: This is my last gamble.

Flora takes his pen and scribbles a cry for help.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the Green Room, we can see the number 10 on the bomb panel slowly turn into a 9.

* * *

 **END OF EPISODE 2**


End file.
